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THE FUNNIEST JOKES IN SUPER SRI LANKA
Some of these jokes are really funny, some are downright disgusting, but that's what humour is all about, right? Competition... Three men - an American, a Japanese and a Sri Lankan were sitting naked in the sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The American pressed his forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at him questioningly. "That was my pager," he said. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm." A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained, "That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand." The Sri Lankan felt decidedly low-tech but not to be outdone, he decided he had to do something just as impressive. He stepped out of the sauna and went to toilet. He returns with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his butt. The others raised their eyebrows and said, "Wow! What's that?" "I'm getting a Fax," he explains. How did you know? A Sri Lankan, coming back from a late night movie was attacked by a thief. There was a terrific fight and the Sri Lankan gave a good account for himself. But finally the thief tied him down and went through his pockets. He found only 25 cents. The exasperated robber exclaimed "What the hell! Why were you fighting for only 25 Cents?" The Sri Lankan replied: "Oh! You were only after this 25 Cents is it? I thought you were after the Rs.1,000 I have hidden in my left shoe". The Doctor... A young woman brings a very young and skinny baby to the Sri Lankan doctor's office. She explained, "The baby seems to be ailing. Instead of gaining weight, he lost three ounces this week." She was told to go into an examination room and wait for the doctor. He comes in and examines the baby, then asks the woman, "Is he breast fed or on the bottle?" "Breast fed." she says. "Well, strip down to your waist." he orders. She does. He squeezes both breasts, massages them, pinches both nipples, and then began powerfully sucking on one nipple. Finally he announces, "No wonder this baby is hungry, you don't have any milk." "Naturally," she says, "I'm his aunt, but I sure am glad I came in today." The Presidents... Russian President Putin, American president George Bush, and Srilankan President Chandrika were talking one day. Putin said, "We were the first in space!" Bush said, "We were the first on the moon!" Chandrika said, "So what, we're going to be the first on the sun!" Bush and Putin looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! you'll burn up!" said Putin. Chandrika replied, "We're not stupid, like you all. We're going at night!" And probably the worst one ever, a Tsunami joke.... During an interview with a Sri Lanka hotel owner, he is asked how his business was coping, the owner replied: We lost a lot of profit but all the usual customers are drifting back in. |
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